A Few Obervations

I AM FINALLY FINISHED WITH THE UAM! I'm not sure if everyone can fully appreciate that fact as much as I can, but it really is a liberating feeling. Words cannot express the joy I felt to finally leave the place that has basically been the bane of my semester abroad. My exams went about as well as I could've hoped (I'm trying not to drive myself nuts worrying about grades), so for now I am just enjoying the happiness of never having to go back to that horrible place. Dramatic ranting will end now.

So, I have been thoroughly enjoying soaking up my last week in Madrid. The weather has been perfect (minus a little bit of rain), so I am taking this opportunity to take BU for all they are worth, as they reimburse all cultural activities. Movies and museums, all day, everyday. It's a little surreal that I am leaving in just 3 days. I haven't even begun the horrendous task that will be packing all of my junk. Yikes. It's amazing how much stuff a person can accumulate over just 5 months!

As my semester is winding down, I'd like to take this opportunity to make a few observations about the cultural differences that I've noticed. When I chose to come to Spain, I never thought that it would be as different as I've discovered it to be. It's amazing what kind of differences an ocean can establish.

1. Got milk?
No. That's the answer. Yes, there is milk in my homestay, but guess what - IT'S NOT PASTEURIZED. They buy it in bulk and just keep it in a cabinet, unrefrigerated so that you can just pull out another carton whenever you need it. Sooo weird. Also, the concept of skim or low-fat milk, does not exist. It's all just whole milk and all they really use it for is coffee or cooking. I tried to explain the concept of having a glass of milk with dinner, and they thought it was weird. They also bought some America style chocolate-chip cookies (special just for me!) and I told them that we always eat our chocolate-chip cookies with a glass of milk. Blank stares. I don't know where they're getting their calcium from...

2. Personal Space
Does not exist. Eh ok, maybe a little, but there is a MUCH different perception of when you're invading someone's area. Even in a crowded metro, where it's expected that you're going to have to touch people you don't want to, it's much worse here than it is in the states. And it's not because it's more crowded. People just don't hesitate to grab you and move you if you're in their way. Really. They'll just grab your arm and pull, or touch your waist so you move. I am really not a fan. Maybe I'm just an uptight American but YOU ARE IN MY BUBBLE! There's also the whole cheek-kissing thing. I've found that even in professional environments, people almost always go for the cheek kisses instead of the handshake. If I had a euro for every time I went for a hand-shake when the person I was meeting went for the cheek-kiss...well I'd have enough money to not care how awkward it is.

3. Forwardness
Is much more acceptable. People don't really hesitate to ask you questions that are completely taboo in the U.S. Anything from money, to your romantic life, to politics is fair game. I once had two french girls who I HAD JUST MET ask me how much I paid to live in my apartment. Now I know that may not seem like such a big deal, but in the U.S. you just DON'T ask that. People don't discuss money. Instead, we do subtle things to imply that we probably have more money than you do, but we don't come right out and say it. A friend of mine also had her señora tell her verbatim (well, verbatim translated), "You look like a prostitute in that skirt. Like a woman who walks around with her boobs and vagina hanging out looking for a man." I cannot make this stuff up. And I saw this outfit, and it was not in any way shape or form prostitute like. The point is, people don't really have much sensitivity about asking personal questions or making personal comments. My host parents also asked me how much money my parents make, and classmates who I was barely acquainted with asked how much my school cost and how much my parents helped me financially. Europeans also aren't hesitant to bring up hot-button political issues like gun control and the war in Iraq. Whenever people ask me about the middle east in particular, I just say, "Dude, I was 13 when that stuff happened. It wasn't my idea," or something to that effect. It's totally normal to ask people who they voted for, which you also DON'T DO IN THE U.S. On a similar note...

4. Political Correctness
Also doesn't exist. And I don't just mean about bringing up controversial political issues or voting patterns. I mean, it's acceptable to saw outright racist and/or discriminatory things about whoever you feel like dissing in the moment. I am not exaggerating. Any store that is owned by an Asian person (which there are A LOT of), is referred to as a "chino." This is the Spanish word to describe a Chinese person. So, to put this in the persepctive of English for you, this would be like me describing a grocery store owned by a person of ANY ASIAN DENOMINATION as "Oh, I'm going to the Chinese to pick up some bread." Yep. They're the same way with other ethnic and cultural groups. Anyone from the Middle East or North Africa is an Arab. Latin Americans are all Mexicans. The French are stinky cheese men. You get the picture. Obviously, this goes hand and hand with #3, with them basically just not giving a damn about who they offend.

To be honest, I think that we Americans could learn a lesson from it. While I have been many a time taken aback by the directness of some Europeans I have encountered, I never realized how prudish American really were until I came here. We are SO sensitive about so many silly things. And I pride myself on being one of the sarcastic, oftentimes politically-incorrect people, and it's still too much for me. I know this is kind of a cop-out, but I think a lot of it comes from our Puritanical roots and the influence of religion on society. I know most people have the perception of Spain as a super Catholic country, but it's really not anymore since Franco died. And even people who are Catholic still realize that there is a very strict absence of relgion from politics, and they prefer it that way. You'd never see a Spanish (or any European) politician saying "God bless x country" at the end of a speech, but in the U.S. it's basically expected, despite the fact that there is a growing number of non-Christians in the American electorate. I think it's very interesting. Anyway the point is, I really do think that we could learn some lessons from the directness of European cultures. I'd like to settle somewhere in the middle though, as I prefer to not have my politics/religion/WHATEVER PART OF MY LIFE THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS out there on the chopping board for all to discuss.

5. Bread and Ham
Are everywhere. There's not really much explanation here, other than the fact that they eat bread and ham all the time. Bread with every meal. Don't ask me how they stay thin (actually, that will be explained in #6). More types of ham/sausage than you could ever imagine. Chorizo, sobresada, jamon serrano, murcillo, multiple other types of jamon iberico, salame, panceta, just to name a few. I am frequently served mini-sausages wrapped in bacon. That is not a joke. Whoever thought that the Spanish diet was so healthy was clearly mistaken. Most of the food is fresher though - I will give them that. And these aren't the only harmful things that are putting into their bodies in excess...

6. Alcohol and Smoking
Are out of control. Obviously, it's common knowledge that Europeans smoke much more than Americans, but it still shocked me when I got here. To see people my age smoking like chimneys outside of every major building is so strange. My host brother abruptly gets up after every meal to go have a cigarette - he can't not smoke after he eats - it's that bad. They just banned indoor smoking less than a year ago here. I know that there are plenty of people in my generation who smoke in the U.S., but there are far fewer of us, probably because growing up we are bombarded with information about how horrible it is and we don't want to get cancer! Cancer is no fun. So I don't understand how SO many people still smoke when they know how bad it is. I guess maybe it helps keep them skinny with all that sausage and bread they are eating.

The alcohol thing is also pretty nuts. The Spaniards love their booze. Although the legal drinking age is 18, most people start drinking much younger. Although it's not quite the same as the American college "party until you are too drunk to move" culture, they are definitely big partiers. "Botelloning" or drinking in the streets is a favorite past time of the Spanish youth (presumably because they all still live with their parents, see #9), and cops do very little to discourage this behavior, despite it being illegal. The policy on marijuana is also much more relaxed, just FYI.

7. PDA
Also out of control. You can't go to a restaurant, bar, or even on the metro without seeing people all over each other. And I don't mean just touchy-feely all over each other, I mean literally making out, sitting on top of each other all over. It's nauseating. I'm ok with a little bit of PDA but they really take it to the next level. I guess it's probably also a function of #9.

8. Work Ethic
So I'm not trying to insult an entire nation here by saying that Spaniards are lazy. Except they kind of are. This claim is supported by facts. In the pre-crisis world (I use this data, because the post-crisis world worker-productivity data is skewed by unemployement) Spain had the 7th worst worker producitivty, measured by GDP Purchasing Power Standards, of the 17 eurozone countries. Ok, so maybe that doesn't sound too bad. Until you consider this: the countries that were doing worse than Spain were Estonia, Greece, Cyprus, Malta, Portugal and Slovakia. Way to go Spain. Those are some real fighters you've beat out (btw, the U.S. has the higher produtivity than all countries in the Eurozone - winning). Spain has about 75% the productivity of the U.S. This isn't the only bad part. During the crisis, in which real wages and benefits dropped in nearly every developed country, Spain's labor costs actually went up by 2.6% in 2009. Yep. Once again, I cannot make this stuff up.

So, like any good free-market capitalist, I'm going to go ahead and blame this on Socialism. Seriously. There really does exist some kind of attitude here that's just like "Oh, don't worry, the government will take care of that." People have a much more relaxed attitude about everything, and don't seem to feel any sense of urgency about getting things done. This "tranquila" attitude isn't necessarily a bad thing in all aspects of life, but when it comes to trying to be competitive in the global market, it doesn't really work out so well. Another part of it is that the unions have so much power here. It's kind of a problem when you're dealing with the whole, low productivity teamed up with rising labor costs and absurdly high unemployment thing. Yeah, you guys should work on that.

Now don't get me wrong, the Spanish economy has done wonders for itself in the past couple decades. Productivity has risen, GDP has risen, the standard of living has risen, and the active population has risen. They've done a lot of good things, with the help of the EU. And I feel for them - persistent 20% unemployment must seriously suck. And their government is totally broke so they can't really do jack to help. So yeah, sucky situation all around, but I'm sorry I just can't really feel sorry for all you people who get university educations for free, live with your parents until your 30, are guaranteed a month of vacation (even in entry level positions), and get free healthcare. The sympathy is very limited. And sitting in a Plaza for weeks on end protesting is not going to help - it just makes you look even lazier.

Anyway, the point of that rant was just to say that we have much stronger work ethic in the states. And we expect a lot less from a government. I like this, but I also think that we could take a few lessons from the Spaniards and learn to relax a little. I remember when I first got here, I had a conversation with my host parents in the first week about how the Spanish motto is "Love, health, money and time to enjoy it" and they explained how to a Spanish person, your profession is a very small part of who you are. In the U.S., I feel like your profession is the dominant part of who you are. And we all get caught up in chasing the "American dream" and forget to slow down and enjoy the little things every now and then. Once again, it would be nice if we could find ourselves a happy medium between the 2 extremes.

9. Family values (a.k.a. living with your parents until you should already have kids of your own)
I mentioned this a little before, but a lot of Spanish people actually live with their parents until they get married, which sometimes doesn't happen until they are well into their 30s. Average marriage age has been on the rise since Franco croaked and women realized "Wait, what, we can do more with our lives the iron and have babies!?" (or at least that's how I picture the realization). So the Spaniards go to school for free and hang out with mommy and daddy until they decide to get a real job and grow up. Once again, don't get me wrong; I understand that a big part of this is family values. Even in American culture, it used to be much more common for multiple generations to live together in one house to build a system of support for everyone. I guess I just don't get it, because in the U.S. we pretty much get the hell out as soon as we turn 18. And I know that I am by no means "independent" from my parents (thanks for the $$$, Mommy and Daddy), but when it comes to day to day life, they're not really involved in my decisions anymore. I do my own laundry, take care of getting my own food, and maintain my own schedule. And that in no way means that I don't believe in family values. I love my family and I think that having a good relationship with them is very important. But I doubt that living with them well into my 20s as I am trying to become an independent adult would do much to help the relationship, if you know what I mean.

Anyway, the point is they mooch off their parents for as long as they possibly can, and because of that, I think that the Spanish youth as a whole are much less mature than the American youth (if you can imagine). They become totally dependent on their moms to prepare their food, do their laundry, nag them about studying - the works. I think that this contributes to the lack of the "go-getter" attitude that so many Americans possess. Or at least that's my theory. Although, I do think that it's good that they still continue to support such strong family values, which is something that has been kind of the decline in the states. I just don't understand why they have to live together and argue at every meal about money, politics, and school (yes, I live with this) to do it. Can't we just all get along (from separate houses)?


This list could really go on and on, but I'm going to cut it there. Those are the things that have seemed the most general and discernible to me.

So I know that most of this probably sounded like a tirade on why American culture is better than Spanish culture. And in my mind, it is. As I hopefully explained, I definitely see some of the merits in the differences that exist, and I think that we yankees could benefit from a few changes, but overall I much prefer the American attitude and lifestyle. I never realized how much I really loved it, or how many little things I took for granted before I came over here. I guess they were right when they said there's no place like home.